承擔過錯和向人家道歉的勇氣 The Courage to Say Sorry!

承擔過錯和向人家道歉的勇氣

記得小時候長輩都喜歡用‘華盛頓砍掉櫻桃樹’的故事來教訓小孩子要誠實﹐做錯了事就要坦白的向人家道歉!’不知道現代的孩子有幾個可曾聽過這個故事呢? 有一個不知名的報導說連這個‘華盛頓砍掉櫻桃樹’故事的真確也有質疑! 或者這是社會進化的所謂 ‘適者生存’ - 要在今天的社會立足﹐坦誠忠實的 一套是站不住腳的了! 如果現代社會真的變成這樣, 思路相信人類物質文明是 往後倒退了一大步!

思路在2007去年底在加拿大首都渥太華跟一個親戚交談,﹐話題扯到澳洲當時的新任總理, 我的親戚說﹐ “你們澳洲的總理是我的同宗!" 我腦筋的運作可能 跟寒暑表的指標一樣接近零點﹐ 一時摸不著頭腦。 後來才醒覺澳洲新總理曾 經在中國當外交官, 所以起了一個官方的中文譯名 - 陸克文 (Kelvin Rudd), 這樣, 我就恍然大悟, 跟我聊天的親戚是姓陸的。 當時我覺得很有意思, 澳洲 的新總理在千里之外﹐竟然也引起加拿大華人的關注。可能是陸克文說得一口流利的普通話, 真的引來世界各地華人的注目。

為甚麼會把華盛頓和陸克文扯上關係呢? 原因很簡單﹐ 因為工黨的陸克文總 理, 在上任後不久就聯同當時新選出來的國會議員召開新政府的首次會議, 最 重要的是在2008年 二月十三日,陸克文總理代表澳洲人向澳洲的土著原居民 ‘被偷走了的一代’ 提出道歉。 當年澳洲實施白澳政策﹐有計劃地把土著 兒童從他們的父母身邊‘偷走’了。這些父母以後都無法知道兒女的下落﹐ 孩 子也永遠不知道自己生 父母是誰﹐因為他們被安排在白人家庭長大。 很多土 著孩子的成長過程都受到不同程度的肉體及心靈的虐待﹐以至人生的路途飽經 風霜, 造成或大或 小的悲劇。其中一個客觀的證據就是澳洲土著的平均壽命 比一般澳洲人短十七年!

或許我們中國人對於這個‘要求道歉’的運動絕不陌生﹐中日戰爭﹑南京大屠殺2007年底剛巧是七十週年。日本政府至今未有從官方渠道正式向中國人道 歉。中國人的民族性是非常寬容的。基督教的教訓, 耶穌基督的榜樣也是‘寬 恕’。因為神寬恕我們的罪﹐我們才有這個能夠寬恕的心去寬恕別人。聖經金句教誨是:“舊事已過﹑一切都變成新的了!” 不過在承受了不平等代遇的一方 而言﹐ 盡管過去 的錯誤已經成為歷史﹐但心裡的難過和委屈也真的需要在感 性的層面去處理。
所以 "如果是你的錯, 就請向我道歉吧!" 你可有這份勇氣嗎?

The Courage to Say Sorry!

I remembered as a kid the elders always quoted the story of 'Washington cutting down a cherry tree' to teach young children to be honest. If you have done something wrong, you should be honestly making apology to the people involved!
Do children nowadays still hear this story? A report from an unknown source said even this whole ‘Washington cut down a cherry tree' story was faked. Is this the so-called survival of the fittest in a post-modern society? If modern society really evolved to such a state, I believe our human civilisation has gone a major step backwards!

While I was visiting the Canadian capital Ottawa at the end of 2007, I chatted with a relative about the then Australia Labour Prime Minister who just came into power. My relatives said, "Your Australian Prime Minister belongs to my clan!" The Canadian sub-zero temperature was stopping my brain to function properly; I had no clue what he was talking about! My relative was making fun of me! The Australian Prime Minister was once a diplomat in China, so he had an official Chinese name: Kè-wén Lù, (陸克文). My relative’s family name was also ‘Lù’ (陸). I found it fascinating at the time, Chinese people in Canada, thousands of miles away, were interested to follow the news of our Australian Prime Minister! Perhaps the amazing Mandarin-speaking ability of Kevin Rudd made him a media-magnet in Chinatowns around the world!

What is this ‘Washington’ story has to do with our Labour Prime Minister Kevin Rudd? Shortly after taking office at the end of 2007, together with the newly elected Congress convened the first meeting of the new government, he made a very important decision. On 13th February 2008, the Prime Minister of Australia, Kevin Rudd, on behalf of all Australians apologized to the indigenous inhabitants belonging to 'the Stolen Generation'. Due to the White Australia Policy, many Indigenous children were ‘stolen’ from their parents. Many years later, these parents still cannot find the whereabouts of their children. Likewise, the children will never know who their biological parents were, because they were placed in white families for foster care. Many Aboriginal children grew up under different degrees of physical and psychological abuse, as well as life-long hardship or tragedies of various scales. One of the empirical evidence of this trauma is that 17 years gap in average life expectancy between Australians and their Indigenous counterparts.

Perhaps the Chinese people know how much an 'apology' means to them. 2007 marked the 70th anniversary of the Sino-Japanese War - Nanjing Massacre! Japanese government to this date has yet to formally apologize to the Chinese people. Chinese culture is very accommodating. Christian teachings are forgiving as illustrated by Jesus Christ is personal testimonies.

One may say ‘Let bygones be bygones!’ However, put yourself in the shoes of those on the receiving side of injustice, even though the past mistakes have become history, the hurts and resentment really need some form of closures, especially at an emotional level. Therefore, "If it is your fault, please say SORRY!"

Do you think you would have the courage to do so?